Frankie’s Sex Park
This is not as bad as it sounds.
So. We told Private One the intimate details of how babies are created a few weeks ago. After nearly vomiting, he rallied, digested, and has gone on his merry way.
Untill today. Today, he asked me why married couples (because that’s the context in which we’re teaching him the Lord gives us the greatest blessings in this area) have sex, if they don’t want a baby. How can a baby be a surprise? He pondered. Just don’t do it. He said.
So in addition to the basics, he got a quick rundown on how birth control can work, or not, and how we are created for this act, aside from the reason of having babies.
And I was just getting over it from the first time you told me about this! He moaned. Now you tell me people want to do it?!?
Flash forward to this evening. He wants us to elaborate just a bit. OK, he says, so people want to do it. I thought they just had to get used to it if they want a baby. You know, get over how gross it is to have kids.
Um, no.
And he goes off to bed.
7 minutes later:
Mom. Dad. I have a question about sex. Okeedoke. We’re all up in it. Shoot. We’re cool here. Open, honest, Godly communication.
Um, do you guys do it, or do you want to get pregnant again, or what?
Well, son, we, um, do it. Yesserie, we do it. With nothing whatsoever to do with wanting another baby.
He blanches. And maybe starts to gag. And nervously laugh. Why?, he pleads.
His father answers. Because it’s fun, son. It’s just great fun.
He looks confused. How can it be fun when the very thought sends shivers up his nearly 11 year old sweet spine?
The Colonel thinks fast. Um, son. You know how you just love Frankie’s Fun Park (a local arcade, pizza, go-cart, skeet shooting sort of birthday/weekend place)?
Yeah. Frankie’s rocks.
Well, sex for adults, who are married and love each other is like a Frankie’s Fun Park for grown-ups.
The first Private is stricken. Fun like Frankie’s? For adults? Sex??? You mean like Frankie’s Sex Park??? Groooooooosssssss, Dad!
Yeah. Like Frankie’s Sex Park. But better. And no tokens or game debit cards. It’s all free. Trust us. You’ll see. But prayerfully, not for a good, long while.
After that, he willingly went to bed. And we haven’t heard from him since.
Oh wow… that’s a really tough one isn’t it. What a paradigm shift for him to have to grapple with. I makes me think of my BIL, who is my age, when My husband and I got married he said to him, “If you are ever tempted to tell me about your sex life, don’t. As far as I”m concerned we were all concieved in a test tube and mom and dad have never seen each other naked.” I also remember the youngest boy, he was five at the time, gleefully telling me all about the fact that penises were used for sex, which was really funny. I think when it gets down to the youngest of 8 information tends to trickle down.:)
Comment by carrien — June 8, 2006 @ 10:01 am
That is too funny. I just can’t believe he is so old already! I remember a little 5 year old leading the tag-alongs (my kids!) around.
Comment by Rie — June 8, 2006 @ 10:31 am
OMGosh…Frankie’s Sex Park. Thank you. I just spit up a little.
Comment by Belinda — June 9, 2006 @ 12:50 am
I haven’t been here in a while. Refound you through Smock Lady. Frankie’s Sex Park is one of the funniest things I’ve read in a long time. I remember my friend’s 11yr old learning this a couple of years ago. He had the same reaction! Funny stuff.
Comment by Traci — June 13, 2006 @ 9:41 am
that was the funniest thing i have ever read. i love you all so much. im glad i re-found your blog! see you tomorrow night!
Comment by Dottie — June 13, 2006 @ 8:02 pm